Thursday, June 19, 2014

My Head is in the Clouds


A few days after my daughter graduated-we ended up at her college Orientation.  A beautiful area that reminded me of where I grew up.  My home exists these days in my memories.   My husband wants to move back to New England-I do not want to leave our children.  We are trying to find a new place to embed our roots.  My heart is torn.  During his Naval career, we always imagined ourselves going back to where we met-our beloved shore. In twenty minutes, we could  be hiking a nature trail to the top of a mountain or be on an ATV racing through the woods with the winding humming in our ears.  I am the gal, that likes to dress up, but my spirit is happiest in blue jeans hiking and searching for adventure.  (Walking trails only- no ropes for me).

  My childhood shore was where my soul needed to spiral when life puzzled me-when I needed to unwind and process my day, my life.  When I married a sailor, I had to find a new labyrinth.  No matter where we tossed our hats-I would find a corner, a nook to sift through my emotions.

Here in the south I have had a harder time finding my place.  I still have an accent-my daughter's boyfriend has fun impersonating me.  He loves to tease and his favorite saying now is:  "You're so funnay!"  Yes, I really say it just like that.

Blogging has helped me find another place to let my soul breathe.  A place for my emotions-a place to pour myself onto the page.   My soul has found a highway of words to venture on.   This ribbon of light n' darkness is transcended by others.  I read your words and now my journey has found many new paths to hike, to climb, and see spirits soar.

On this trip I saw my daughter's new home-it is beautiful!  I also found this place called Story Rock.  I thought of all of you and how you are part of my rock, my story and I am part of yours.  Our paths have tangled from sharing our worlds online. We embrace the good,  the bad,  and the middle path of our days.  We share our souls, our families, our passion, our highs and lows.


Thank you for sharing your story and being part of mine! 



16 comments:

Brian Miller said...

it is pretty amazing how we find each other on here...and get glimpses into lives in far different places but all traveling the same path...and our stories entangle..

we have a rock area like that with pictures and such the students at the local college paint each year...its cool...

and hey, you'll figure out where youa re going to land...smiles.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

No matter where we go, we can always find that peace if we look. As a military brat, I call no place my home, but my heart always goes with me.
No matter where you go, here will always be your home, Ella.

Heaven said...

I appreciate the back story Ella ~ I hope you are able to find a compromise ~ Blogging too has helped me find my voice ~ Good luck to your daughter ~

Grace

Helen said...

Ella,
This is such a lovely, heartfelt post. I often dream of returning to the mid-west ~ where I was born, grew to adulthood. Now, I find myself in the beautiful Pacific NW and think I would miss this oasis of pure splendor. And I am here because of my daughter and grandchildren ~~ I do understand your desire to be close to your children. Wherever you put down roots again .. I suspect you will make it a perfect environment ~ again.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I think it's funny you still have an accent. I lost mine a long time ago, although I still talk really fast.
Oregon was a beautiful place to grow up, but I wouldn't want to go back. I appreciate the conservative attitude of where I live now. Although part of my heart is still in New Mexico and I would like to visit there again some day.

Mary said...

Nice to hear that your daughter is now graduated and about to go to college. I am sure you will feel the 'empty nest' for a while. I am sure eventually you will find just the right place to 'root.' Smiles.

Ella said...

Hi L.Diane-I think it has a lot to do with talking to family n' friends back home. Oregon is gorgeous. We stayed there for a night before headed to Alaska-I didn't want to leave! Lol-I talk fast, too. Yes, our hearts can linger where ever we want! And we can write about our memories-it helps! Someday you will go visit~ Thank you!

Mary-Yes, I am in for the big transition-a good time to have OCD-Obessive Craft Disorder. For now, I am trying to enJOY her and her friends, because I know the quiet is going to being haunting for awhile. Thank you~

Vicki Sheehan said...

this is such a beautiful post! i do think it is hard to try and re-create our past...maybe a new start someplace completely fresh for both of you? Alex said it so nicely in his last line...love that : )

Optimistic Existentialist said...

LOVE the introspection here. Such beautiful writing. Blogging is a wonderful thing. It changed my life, and it's how I met my fiancee. I have seen you around blogland. I think I shall follow!!

Jim said...

Quite a dilemma, Ella. Do I get to vote? My vote is to find as nice, affordable, and enjoyable place fairly close to the family.

Family doesn't always stay, but you were there for as bit. I don't believe in moving around chasing the kids unless a person is old and feeble and needs help from them

Our five kids are lined up and down along I-10 in Houston. Our youngest and along with her our youngest grandchild and the BIL moved to London when her work took there. Now, five years later she and they are returning and will live in Katy, Texas, about 1 hr 15 min from us if traffic is tolerable. The equates to 70 miles.

We had some lovely, but still in Texas, places 'picked out' but decided they were too far away for the kids to come for visiting. They do mention the distance now and most of our get-to-gathers are just north of downtown Houston for eating and lingering. That works pretty good. Tradition says come here for a family Christmas time.

We live about 50 miles north of downtown Houston, 65, 60, 60, 65, and now 75 miles away. But we have hills--Houston is flat--and a golf course for as back yard.
..

Ella said...

Thank you! I will return to comment. My internet is slow and blogger says I have an error?!

Mary Ann Potter said...

I am reminded of this saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."

I'm such a homebody, but all our of our moves in the last 46 years have been good ones. I'd never advise anyone about staying or going. Y'all just follow your hearts and God. He'll never steer you wrong.

Ella said...

Hi Mary Ann! This is beautiful-thank you~ I think us being a military family and not being able to be part of our families' lives-we are torn. I think near the sea or mountains would make me happy either way. Maybe we will live in the middle-lol!

Jim-Thank you for all you shared! We have been away from ours-as a military family. Yes, I like your view-thank you so much for sharing!!! I love hills :D

OE-Congrats to you both! Thank you-I loved your library post~ Blogging is just that and so are our libraries~ Thank you!



Ella said...

Hi Vicki-Thank you! Yes, a fresh start would be nice. Alex does have a way with words-very sweet~

Hi Helen-Yes, there is beauty everywhere-we just have to look~
Thank you! You are sweet ;D

Grace-Thank you!! Yes, compromise is always the best location~

Alex-You are the sweetest Ninja, I know~ Thank you! @>--------

Brian-Thank you! Yes, those rocks are like the FB wall-smiles to you! You are so right~

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